This isn’t a review of the new tv show. I don’t get Showtime, and since I work with barking dogs early Monday mornings I really didn’t want to stay out late at a crowded bar Sunday night to watch the series premier. Honestly, I thought it was just going to be yet another tacky reality show. How would I know any different? I watch a fair amount of television and the first promo of any kind I saw about The L Word was a quick clip the Friday before it debuted to the tune of Melissa Etheridge’s new song.

Frankly, I was a little bit afraid, and although I was curious, I wasn’t that upset about missing it. I realize this puts me in what, the 1% bracket of Lesbians that weren’t tuned in? You can understand my skepticism though, can’t you? While they’ve gotten better over the years, you have to admit that with very few exceptions, all of the feature films and ‘made for tv’ specials about Lesbians have fallen far short of expectation. How many screenplays have promised us a ‘real’ portrayal of Lesbian life, and what happens? We rush in droves to the see another bad ‘B’ movie usually made with the worst actresses money can’t buy.

Calm down, I didn’t say they all belong in the trash. I thought Bound was a pretty good flick. They weren’t afraid to spend a little money for some real performers. Fried Green Tomatoes? Great movie. By far the best lesbian-themed movie with no sex whatsoever in it. Why, because the actresses were worth watching. Sure, you wanted them to hook up, but it was the whole movie you got into. Desert Hearts was o.k.., and contained some really good one-liners, but the sound was so bad and the editing so poor it was painful. There have been some entertaining lesbian foreign films. Aimee & Jaguar. Fire. Both somewhat low budget, yet respectable depictions of lesbians of other cultures you could get caught up in.

Sadly, there have been so many more ridiculous, classless presentations of lesbian life in the theatre and on television that it’s hard to get your hopes up. A couple examples? How about Claire of the Moon? Anybody see that one? What was that all about? They should have called it Claire of Planet X. No, they shouldn’t have called it anything. It should never have been made. And the worst lesbian movie ever made? Lianna. Without a doubt. Sluggish paced picture with a lame plot, forgettable soundtrack and not one remotely attractive woman in the entire movie. You were hoping they ‘wouldn’t’ take off their clothes. And if I had never been to a gay bar before I saw this movie, I certainly wouldn’t be looking forward to going to one after seeing what was in ‘their’ bar scene.

So, is it true then, that art imitates life? Because I’m not completely impressed with what’s out there in the real world, either. The single, bar crowd can be a scary place. Maybe that’s the reality. Maybe there really isn’t much to inspire the filmmakers. Could that be it? I truly hope that the single, lesbian world isn’t composed entirely of people you would be ashamed to introduce to your family. But where are the worthy ones?
Has Showtime found the mother lode, along with a clever, stylish way to present them to the rest of the world? Since I haven’t yet seen the pilot I can’t say for sure, but from the quick preview I saw on tv, and the trailers on the internet it appears they may have actually accomplished something with this project. The actresses all seem to be attractive, respectable and well dressed, for a change. That’s a huge draw, making it worth tuning in to since I’m sure the general public doesn’t want to watch a bunch of ugly, loud-mouthed, beer swilling dykes hitting on each other week after week. The dialogue seems engaging and quick-paced, which should keep our attention. It’s on cable, so you know there’ll be enough skin to keep our eyes focused on the screen. As long as the stories don’t go too far over the top, it sounds like a winner.